Shy

card and photo by Connie Schroeder, copyright 2009, all rights reserved.

Oh to be an extrovert.

This morning I finished an order for cards.  Six birthday cards.  They came out beautifully.  Then I went to a coffee shop and had a bagel.  When I finished, I sat and read a little book called "God went to Beauty School."  It is full of wonderfully hilarious, outside-the-box, heretical poems.  When I finished reading it again, I sat and wrote my own stuff about Goddess and had a lovely time.

From there I went to the service at the Unitarian Universalist Society.  I sat close to the front so I could watch the pianist play.  He is always a wonder to behold, and the prelude was an extraordinarily complicated thing with all kinds of runs, crossing hand over hand, and using the whole keyboard.  I admire his finger dexterity. 

The service was about being a patriot, which was quite different from what people often think about when they think about patriotism.  The minister challenged us to stand up for what we believed is true, even when it isn't popular.  I am all for that.  I'm summing it up rather simply, he did a good job with the sermon, it was peppered with lots of examples as well as ideas.

It was a lovely morning.  But I still came away feeling awkward and out of my element.  I am so doggone shy.  At the coffee hour I force myself to try and mingle, but I always wind up wanting to bolt out the door.  I don't mean to be so reserved, nor do I want to appear stand offish, but I know that's how it seems.  I have never felt really comfortable in groups, but that reality seems to have gotten a bit more pronounced than it has been in the past.  Sigh.

You know, some people are shy, but they still have so many people in their lives, and people really just want to be around them.  And some people are outgoing, but people avoid them.  I guess I just wish I hadn't missed out on "social skills 101" someplace along the line.  In an ideal world, I would love to make people feel really comfortable and happy and included.  I envy that skill!  We could use more folks like that in the world.