Wow...Lately I've been hearing stories about other peoples' therapists. Stories which would make me freak out if I was seeing someone like that. Well, in the past I have had a couple of really bad therapists.
Today I went to see my therapist. A couple of weeks ago he was telling me that according to statistics, only about 15% of the work which happens between a client and a therapist has to do with the therapist.(I suspect this knowledge isn't for the general public) The largest portion of what happens is to the client's credit. I wonder if that statistic was created for real, or by some really bad therapist who figured his or her own averages and came up with that number. No...that couldn't be. I'm sure that if my therapist quoted that figure, there is accuracy there. He tends toward telling the truth. I don't always appreciate that fact, but he isn't one to throw it in my face, like some people I could name.
Anyway, I walked in and announced dramaticly that he is the very BEST therapist that ever was. I think he thought I was being sarcastic. He knows me pretty well...and I am given to sarcasm at times. But definitely NOT this time. I DO believe he's the BEST therapist I could have. I went on and on for a while about all these stories I've been hearing of late. Frankly, I should have fallen down at his feet. But instead I told him that for his 15% of the work, I give him an A+, superb! That got a big laugh.
He's reliable, solid, honest, respectful, compassionate, kind, boundaried, and very careful about not creating dependency issues in me. But best of all, he doesn't bring some big agenda to our time. He allows me to be who I am, and where I am. We don't always agree. And I didn't tell him that when I get really ticked off at him, I imagine him in a tutu. He might object strenuously to that. But he doesn't get to dictate just how I deal with conflict, though I have learned so much from him about how to live more peacefully with others. Still, we are two human beings. One who carries a fair bit of trauma around. And the other who has this amazing gift for really listening.
At the end of our time he told me that my thank you rated high among thank you's he's received. There's a story around that of course, but it isn't my story to tell.
Here's to you dear therapist!!!! I feel a deep sense of gratitude for happening into your office some four years ago, and continuing my work. You really are the best of the best.
:-)
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