Gratitude

"Flood 2011"  copyright 2011, Caris Cerdwyn, All rights reserved

A friend of mine was telling me this morning about a friend of hers who lost everything in the flood.  Everything that is except his life, his car, his computer and a couple of other incidental items.  His main feeling is gratitude.  That sort of buoyed me up!  I am in the process of packing to travel for a time and eventually perhaps move to another area.  The move isn't totally my own choice.  It comes about from some other situations in my life that are more than unpleasant and have to do with other people.  Letting go of my anger and the resentments has been full time work.  That work is pretty much caught up to date.  Walking around last week saying to myself, almost shouting to myself:  "Nobody owes me anything."  Was a marvelous gift.  And I felt it.

And today I am feeling the grief of letting go into the unknown, and possibly not coming back here to what has been home for so many years.  And some of the resentments reassert themselves.  But now I know how to release them and move on.  Not get caught and tangled in their web.  And that is an amazing gift. 

This is a time for clearing out and beginning again.  And that can be very hard work.  Physical, emotional, spiritual work.  So my friend's friend, who has that sense of gratitude in having survived is gift to me today.  An inspiration and a hope.  As people all around are cleaning up the muck from the flood, trying to reassemble their lives in some way, I will be praying and doing what little I can to help.  I think sandwich making on a large scale is in my future.  At least to some degree. 

And may there be some joy.  Even in the midst of loss and grief and having to pick oneself up and start all over again, may there be joy...and gratitude, for being alive and having a future to work toward.