new starts

New Life pulsing,

Old Life ebbing away.
New Life pulsing,
Old Life ebbing away.

Being born, a new creation
Old life ebbing away
Dancing this eternal story,
Old life ebbeing away...
pressing through to the light of day.
Old life ebbing away,
pressing through to the light of day.
Old life ebbing away,
pressing through to the light of day.

This is a simple chant that came to me a few days ago as I moved into a new apartment here in Oregon.  It's a beautiful place, and I hope I can find a way to be here for a good long time.  But old things still hover around me here.  Old fears.  Old mindsets.  Old tapes playing in my head.  Still, the old life is ebbing away.  However strong the pain and the fear and the confusion, it is passing and something new is coming to life.  This valley is known as the valley of healing.  And it is.  And the quest for healing is a demanding one.  It isn't a simple thing to face the self.  It is complicated and messy and miraculous.

This week I keep thinking about this time I was going to preach at this little country church.  All week long that week I struggled to find the right illustration for the sermon.  It was about (have you guessed?), NEW LIFE.  A new creation.  It was Sunday morning, and I still didn't have a good illustration.  There are plenty of good illustrations, one would think, right?  Well, my mind couldn't find anything.  I tried to center myself as I was driving to church.  Tried to open my heart.  Nothing. 

"Okay Spirit, but this is going to be one of my more boring sermons."  I could hear a faint chuckle from out there in the cosmos.  I think she was holding back a big belly laugh. 



The drive was beautiful.  It was autumn in upstate New York.  I pulled up to the church and onto a grassy parking lot with a fence.  As I got out of the car I noticed a couple of the church members on the other side of the fence in the field with a cow.  And there it was.  The cow was giving birth.  And for the first time in my life, I watched a calf being born.  How exciting!!!  What a miracle!!!  And as I watched, I thought to myself:  "YUCK!  What a MESS!!!"

Yes there it was, my illustration for the sermon.  Yes, I could hear Spirit laughing aloud.  "Very funny" I muttered.

"What did you say?"  Carol asked me, getting out of her car. 

"Oh, just muttering to myself.  God's enjoying a joke on me at the moment."

"What a sweet little calf."  she said, her eyes following the newborn.



public domain photo taken by Kim Newburgh



By this time the baby was actually standing on its feet, quite wobbly, looking for some breakfast after such an ordeal as being born.  Big eyes blinked at this bright new world.  And the farmers who had helped the cow, were off to remove those bloody clothes and shower.  They made it in time for the sermon!

Giving birth to oneself sounds so impressive.  But the reality is messy.  And it hurts.  The reality means mucking around through the mess to get to the new life.   It means looking at the not so pretty stuff about oneself.  The plain truth.  But the final result is worth every bit of the mess and even the pain. 

Blessed Be. 

With gratitude this day and every day for the new life which comes to birth in this world.  May we have courage as we face the mess and embrace the miracle of our lives.

Everyone loved the sermon by the way.  It was one of my better ones.